Hey there, dear YOU! Sharing this Earth with me, my heart...
Oh my, oh man, gosh, this blog feels like from another shore....decade... yet I know it's my life, my dear precious life....but oh, the journey has been long, and short, deep and yet again bubbling. I know you believe me, without me going in to details this time.
Today I mentioned about this ancient blog to someone, and actually few months ago I remembered I had once started this just to write somewhere, to someone...and this place in me, where I want to write, well, it's alllllllways been there but I realize more and more how much it is like my LIVING ROOM - the place where I find the true life beating in my heart, my soul and energizing my body, painting my mind with colors that I want to paint with words out to the world....or more likely, to You. To You.
At the same it is so much like " I write to know what I'm thinking" - I wish I'd remember who said those words I love.
And so here I am after hmmm- how many years! And I'm not sure really whom I'm telling this to because I don't think I've really had anyone much following this blog because well, I've never much told about it, ha, that's helpful isn't it!
I realize now that has happened with much of my life. For well, I love to be on my own and think and well, I do love to have deep conversations and sharing with people but that's never been that simple..
But A-ha, I've been learning I must say this!
And to realize that, how good does that feel! Darn good, indeed. I think I've got myself off the shore at age what, how old am I now, hmm...40+ 2 or 3 I think. Does that matter. Really not. But it does feel good and scary but more beautiful, to finally be more off the shore, knowing who I am, trusting myself - and more importantly, trusting the journey, life itself.
I'm an entrepreneur these days, have been for over two years now. I never thought I would have done it - at the same, know what, the image was so clear in my mind - even my reason kept sweeping it away time after another, it remained and came back - and I believe the very fact that I saw it "inside myself" even in daylight reality I could rarely see myself up to actually do that, it is as the image inside me started painting my outer circumstances bit by bit. And I think that is the true gift of imagination, of tuning ourselves to creativity mode- where we really just let go and let our dreams play for a while...and then play a little more... aren't we supposed to become (or just try to remain really) like children in our hearts?
Over the years I've learned to trust the correspondence I have every day with life. I write in my mind, and life replies to me and we keep moving as much as we are ready to do so...
This is a sudden corner again, and life brings us those all the time, with questions written on the street signs - are you ready to take the turn to a new path? Are you ready to follow your heart and listen to it's whisper growing to a blaze of fire in your heart?
I don't have any roadsigns to send you, but as I find myself all of a sudden writing here ( I was already going to bed but something brought me here) I know my heart is full of encouragement I want to send to you ---- "...stop....pause...be still..." and listen to your heart. Everything you will ever need is right there. But do find quiet, do find peace, do find a space that allows you to really sit down with yourself and look at yourself as you would look at yourself through a window.
Through the window you could see me at home, sitting at the kitchen table. The evening is getting darker but it is still light. I just cleaned up the kitchen with my daughter. It was her turn but we did it together, and it made me feel good. Also, the recordings of many sweet encounters from today at my creative Art Café Intola make my heart smile. And the flowers and small olive trees I bought today as a sign of Spring. Growth. Green. New life. How old trees create themselves anew every spring, how the grass starts to shine green and I'm so in love of the colors, the blooms, the breeze of hope that I also have the ability to grow new beginnings, and find my roots deeper and deeper in the soil, making me stronger. I'm supposed to grow strong and tall, find my purpose and bare fruit! And yes, I so want to! Let no winter of life (or Finland ;) be so cold or so dark that it would color my inside so dark that I would forget the colors painted inside me and lose the sense of my true purpose and the road I'm called to travel every day I open my eyes...
Last time I counted, I calculated having the amount of about 62 diaries that I've written throughout my life in my own solitude and many phases of life's journey. Letter writing has also been a hobby so dear to me when I was younger and I think I am here today, because I want to continue, start again these letters "to anyone who's out there", who ever wants to receive them, from my heart to yours...
I know I can write to the people I already know. But I choose to write to you because to much extent I believe, if we really are tuned into our hearts, we already know one another, too.
I don't think you are really a stranger to me even if I don't know anything about you. I believe to a big part we are all drawn with much of the same colors to different forms. Your shape and form hold a heart just like mine. One with dreams, with hopes, with fears and challenges. A heart yearning to love and to be loved, in all the colors and their many seasons.
....From time to time we're better off without an audience.
- and other times it's so good and necessary to open up and live out our hearts. That is where the treasure is, yours and mine.
So here I am, with you, glad to be. Glad to share.
Thank you for the walk you walk every day to try to be the best YOU can be.
I don't see you and still I feel I can. Somewhere. See. You.
Trying your best. Fighting a hard battle of life, maybe. Beautifully knitted together with life's golden unbreakable thread. Crying. Smiling. Growing. Perhaps letting go, opening up the sails of your heart and singing to your piece of sky, let me fly....!
I believe You can!
See it,
I believe you already are!
Darling you, good night, sleep well, and sweet dreams.
I send you my love.
From my corner of the world,
Rina
