Hello darling you!
How are you? What are your thoughts around this time of year?
It is Christmas Day and probably a few others along with me feel that they've eaten well. However, saying a phrase like that makes me inevitably think of so many people that do not feel that way.
- How paradoxical this world is and how difficult it is to make a real measure of anything because there is always someone who has it better or worse than me...
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY.
That is a quote that has got stuck in my mind and one that I've let sink in my heart. How true it is! I don't consider myself a jealous person, and I can be happy of what other's have for themselves,but I think comparing ourselves to others is so deeply built-in us as humans. In me as well.
Soon it is again New Year, 2013. And we might think to ourselves that should there be any resolutions made for this new year? Without anyone asking we find ourselves making count of the year that has passed, how has it been? Maybe we are also faced with the resolutions that we failed to fulfill in the past year and feel the loss of faith in our own abilities. Another year begins and I'm still this size, another year begins and I still haven't broken bad habits, started something I promised...whatever those intentions may have been...
We know it but feel powerless. And we compare - and lose our joy.
Think about it. I know myself times when I've been completely happy and even joyful about where I am in life and about who I am right now. And then I see someone and do the mistake of comparing myself to them in some way and there I've sold my joy away and find myself in resentment of life's share of cards. Why I can't I be that way? Why don't I have those opportunities? Why didn't I win the lottery? When really we should ask ourselves WHY am I complaining? Why am I comparing? What does it tell about me and where I am in life?
Sadly enough, in school kids and teenagers are still all about comparing: grades, looks, clothing, everything... I remember that from when I was a kid and see the same happening now in my daughter's surrounding... She is more like this than I am... She has this and I don't.... Parent's don't always have the best tools either when they put their children on the stage of comparison, look how well he is doing, why can't you? And sadly enough, as adults we do no better: oh, look at the car they got, she has better salary, I want a house like that too... Looks like as adults we are just grown-up kids that haven't realised that one day we will die and the only life we have to compare to then is our own.
Are we present in living our own lives or trying to imitate some pittoresque ideal?
Why can't we find joy in our simple being? Instead of comparing why can't we simply cherish the personality of our own and that of our children, and seek ways of encouraging them to find their own joy? Joy in ourselves, in who we are right now.
If I compare myself now to the one I was ten years ago, I can be so proud of myself that I can't tell you enough! I don't know when I realized that comparing myself to others will not help me become me. Perhaps by another quote: Be yourself, all the other places are taken. But this social illness needs a life-long treatment in our society and media that makes us grow in a badly fertilized ground. It pushes us to thought-patterns that do not create the joy that is meant for us.
Comparison is the thief of joy. It is so true. This year, please don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself! Find your joy and don't let anyone steal it! Cherish the place of your heart, who you have become and encourage yourself in some beautiful way in your journey of becoming the unique, beautiful person you are.
with love and warm thoughts,
Rina
